Old Man Flossing, starring Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn

Today, on my way down to mom & dad's for dinner, I look over and see an old man in the driver's seat of the car next to me. While we were sitting there, stopped at the light, he was flossing. In his car. Without subtlety or discretion. Now, I could allow as to perhaps he had just finished a delicious ear of car corn. Possibly a road apple. Or some stripe of portable food that would have engendered a need for flossage. Perhaps I caught in him in the midst of a quick swipe around the gums, to sweep away the troubling food detritus on a cinnamon-flavored strand of gossamer, which would then have been tucked sanitarily away in the plastic trash bag that everyone keeps in their cars, no doubt. Nuh uh: he was going at it like a mobile dental assistant. This gave me pause to wonder: who is that busy? Really? If you have so little time that you must attend to your dentition in your auto, I have but one word for you: simplify. Well, that or stop eating corn on the go.