What I did on my Spring Break

Today, I used a pressure-washer. It was kind of cool. It certainly did a number on the old paint that had been clinging to my trim like grim death. Although, I’d say there’s enough lead paint chips in my yard to retard like a thousand children. Hopefully, the squirrels or the raccoon will eat them and die. I know that sounds awful for me to wish death on animals, and I wouldn’t normally, but those nut-loving little bastards have found their way back into my attic and have started tearing up my duct work again. The raccoon is just digging holes and leaving huge turds scattered around, so I suppose that’s not really worth wishing death on it. The washing was a new experience to me, and since it involved water, I ended up completely soaked. Of course, since it also involved huge chunks (and I mean CHUNKS) of paint flying off in all directions, I am sure that I ingested some of it as well. Me not think I losed too many brain thinks. But it was gross, because of the dirt. Oh, and apparently my house is now New Bedford, Connecticut: I have never seen so many wasps. They were like in every conceivable corner and cranny (nook space is currently unavailable). I washed them out, too. Then I sort of sprayed the ground where they were to make sure they wouldn’t be airborne any time soon. But I still somehow managed to end up with one crawling on my leg. That kind of freaked me out, because I remember the last time I got stung. There was a hive up under one of the rungs of the fiberglass ladder where I couldn’t see, and when I accidentally jostled it, like a billion wasps came boiling out. It was kind of freaky to see, and one of them ran right into my finger in the fracas. I cursed and dropped whatever I had in my hands and ran into the house, where I applied ice and Cortisone in equal amounts. It actually worked: the sting didn’t really hurt too much after that, and it was barely noticeable. Then, after things had calmed down a bit, I went back out and carefully found where the nest was. Then I Hot Shot-ed those bastards for all I was worth. This sucks: I should be in Lauderdale doing body shots off of some dumb frat guy. Sigh. If only.