Tales of a second grade nothing

I got dressed down in front of second-graders today. Oh, not by anyone I give a rat turd about so I guess that makes it okay. Well, not really: otherwise, I wouldn’t be venting about the incident in my little bloggy, now would I? Anyway.

Has anyone ever asked you a stupid and ill-mannered question? Or rather, can you imagine what I would say to someone who presented me with such a question? I thought so. Today, someone said to me “Can I use this computer?” I responded “You should be able to.” Why is this a stupid question? Well, working in a library, a “service” that I provide is access to computers. That's why there are seven of them just laying around: to be used. It is the equivalent of asking if I have any books (which, actually, I have been asked before). The etiquette thing of “can” vs. “may”, well… yes, it might be niggling, but damn it! Someone has to say “You shall not pass!” (envisioning poor manners as a balrog and myself as a luxuriously, if grey, haired wizard). Why did I say what I said? Well, honestly because it is the kind of thing that I say. Is it sarcastic? Possibly. Wait, I mean: Noooo, it’s not sarcastic at all, riiight?

Although, my intention was not to belittle (shocking, I know). Rather, I meant to imply that since I did not know what function the user needed, he should have been able to use it… unless it did not have the appropriate program or functionality he sought to utilize. However, before I could say anything more about the capabilities of the computer I was rebuffed with “Don’t say that to me! Treat me with respect!”

Well, you can imagine the range of possible responses swirling through my head. None of them were suitable to be uttered in the presence of eight year-olds, though. Then I was drizzled with a minor tirade of how much better he is treated at the other schools by the other librarians and how they have a computer for him to check his email and was there a computer in here that he could check his email on. Having finally ascertained the needs of the user, I suggested the closest computer that was equipped with the functionality he desired: mine. That really put him in a tizzle, because since I had “insulted” him and now offered my own equipment for his use, well, what could he say? I am sure he played out the scenario of reporting me for insolence in his head, capped off nicely by me giving him what he needed and in what some deem as inviolate space. Fucking art queens.