What I Do on Saturday

Today I decided to completely re-arrange the furniture in my bedroom. I had been kicking the idea around for a while, moving the furniture in my mind, imagining how it would look this way or that, and finally said “fuck it” and started moving stuff. Firstly, I was amazed at the amount of hair on the floor behind the bed. I mean, it looked like a Shetland pony had exploded or something (maybe I should start wearing clothes to bed again… nah). So anyway, after I managed to vacuum all of that up, I started the rest of the really heavy lifting. Moved the mattress and the box springs out, unloaded the bookcase, unloaded the armoire, took the drawers out of the dressers, took the dressers and the bookcase out and then determined the best solution to the unsolvable angle problem posed by trying to maneuver the bed and the armoire past one another. It was nudge nudge switch nudge nudge switch for a bit, but I now have a new floor plan. Amazingly, the new arrangement is supposedly more beneficial in terms of feng shui. Which is nice, because I couldn’t give a ripe red ass about a bunch of made up bullshit. On the other hand, if my fame does begin to increase and I do find a relationship, well then, that’s why Jesus invented something called “coincidence”.

P.S. Bonus points to anyone who can tell me where the name of this posting came from and why it is significant.