I can ride a bike again

I bought a new seat for my bike this weekend. I had a little trouble deciding which one to buy. There was a whopping two for me to consider, and the one I didn't buy looked like it had a caricature of a penis, balls and all, on it. I know you're probably thinking "But that should have been a real draw for you". The reason I didn't buy it is because it didn't feel as squishy as the one I did buy. One of the nice things about it is that the seat I bought has two raised up cushy parts where your butt goes. It feels a little weird, kind of like there is a midget (oh, sorry: I forgot that is not the correct term. I meant a wee elf) running behind you holding your butt in his hands. This also means that there is, for lack of a better word, a channel where my dangly bits can be not mashed up against the seat, feeling every bump on the Trail. I was so excited after I put the bike seat on, I had to ride it just a little bit. I whisked right out into the gray afternoon, leaving my dinner (leftover homemade pizza from mom; we love mom) in the oven to reheat. It was kind of weird, and I will have to give it exhaustive street testing, but I think it will work. Of course, since I refuse (-ish) to wear my helmet, I will probabaly end up spreading my brains out on the pavement like caviar on toast points. But at least my pink bits won't be numb when it happens.