I'm too sexy for my blog

For some reason, I am suddenly being deluged with offers for sex. I know: I can’t freaking believe it either. Although, it is not like I am a rock star and guys are throwing themselves at me as I walk down the street. They are doing so online. Yeah, takes a little of the shine off, doesn’t it? Before I further slander my own name, allow me to assert that I am not some kind of online sex-addict, haunting the chat rooms until my next trick comes along. Chat rooms happen to be the only place I can “meet” people without getting the equivalent of exposure of a five-packs-a-day smoking habit and/or having the penetrating beat of the house music damaging my hearing. Damn, I sound old. At any rate, I find “chatting” an amusing little pastime; I’ve even made a couple of friends (but nothing more) online. My profile is very modest (yet witty) and I did post ACTUAL pictures of myself (unlike those bitches who don’t look anything like the pictures they have posted in their profile… or so I have heard), so I am mildly bewildered as to why I seem to be such a hot commodity. Or I was until I started looking at the pictures of the guys who were IMing me. Yeesh. I thought all gay men were required to be somewhat attractive. Apparently, the mullet is not the exclusive domain of the lesbian, as we once thought. Also, many of them are old enough to be my father. Some of them even use that as part of their pitch. Others want me to do things to them that, well, let’s just call it a big “Ewwww” and move on. Most intriguing have been the offers for three-ways, and there have been more than a few. Almost all of them have come from real dogs. Except the latest one. And that's all I'm going to say.