A danger to myself and others

I just had a bicycle accident. Well, not JUST had: I am not sitting here typing while blood slithers down my arm like a crimson snake. I had my accident yesterday and have recouped enough to describe my grim horror. Actually, it wasn’t so bad, I mean I only flipped over the front of my bike, banged my head on the ground, got a couple of scrapes and lumps, and a lovely patch of road rash on my left side. The accident happened because I tried to wave my thanks to the motorist who was allowing me to pass in front of him; as soon as I let go of the handlebar, I became airborne. He responded by pulling his car over and inquiring if I was okay. After assessing the damage (and very loudly saying, “Fuck!” “God Damn it!”), I told him I would be fine. Then I said, “That’ll teach me to say ‘thanks’” and hobbled to my fortuitously nearby home. It also taught me that I should wear some protective gear. I am now the proud owner of a sassy purple bike helmet, which increases my sex appeal exponentially (what is that mathematical property of zero again…?). However, it will also keep my brain safe. Safe from roadways at least: a device to protect brains from Ann Coulter and other screeching gibbons of the radical Right unfortunately has yet to be invented.